I am so, so tired.

I’m not staying here. It’s confirmed, and all the planning I had is useless now. My dad will pick me up, and take me to Nevada the second he calls my mom. And then I’ll be thrown back to my aunts house.

I will spiral again as soon as 11th grade starts, I can’t be there anymore. The town my aunt lives in is so small it only has one school, transferring isn’t an option. And nobody trusts me. Nobody.

There is nobody I can trust either, I have no close friends or other family that I can run off to. I have an ex but I think I’d rather run away then ever go to him for anything.

Possibly, I could run away. I can pass easily as an adult because of my height. I know where all my documents are, and nobody can find me because I use a prepaid flip phone. I have only a little bit of money saved however. Money is everything, and I’ll really need it if I do attempt this. I’ve worked at a shitty retail job at my aunts store for 5+ years… but its never been written down anywhere because I never got a single cent from working there.

People and connections are just as important. But I have no social skills and I genuinely have no long-lasting positive relationships with anyone in my life.

I wonder if my school ever found this blog considering I made it while in-class along with some of the posts. Same time the school doesn’t actually care about my safety anyway; I was nearly kidnapped freshman year.

There is the law though… If I tried really hard, could I find a way to legally live alone? It’s the best option considering I don’t want to get myself killed by suicide or running away. I have work experience and I’m able to make good financial decisions.

Maybe, maybe maybe maybe… for the time being I just want to survive.

Hey, on an unrelated note my ds lite came in! Ice blue shell & in perfect condition. Also with a gorgeous case and 6 random games for $100 on ebay.